84 Comments
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Bruce Washburn's avatar

Love it!

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Unwoke in Idaho's avatar

Very cute. Always a palate cleanser so to speak

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Michelle Styles's avatar

Brilliant. I love the one with the Jewish family inviting Santa Claus to sit down and have a coffee...

This is my offering (including an update on 'Its Freezing the Christmas' https://open.substack.com/pub/michellestyles/p/this-is-northumberland-calling-201224?r=8gufl&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

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Bruce Miller's avatar

A Jew would never offer only coffee. There would be at least some babka involved.......

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Michelle Styles's avatar

Ah where there is coffee, a cake also lurks...

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Orwell’s Rabbit's avatar

What a very British thing to say! (Tea or coffee, actually)

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Derek M's avatar

Oh the babka…I have no shame when there is babka available.

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Brian Katz's avatar

Must be a chocolate babka though.

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Bruce Miller's avatar

I was at a deli and picked up a piece. I thought I was going to lose my mind. It was that good!!!!

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Brian Katz's avatar

Yeh, they can be decadent.

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Brian Katz's avatar

Seinfeld episode about the babka is hilarious.

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Bruce Miller's avatar

Dolores?

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Kate Cahill's avatar

there was a place in Manhattan (I think East Village?) I used to go to get the most wonderful chocolate babka. I wonder if it still exists? Now I'll have to pay congestion pricing on top of cost of the cake!

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Bruce Miller's avatar

Katz's? Or Russ and Daughters?

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Michelle Styles's avatar

The local bakery does cardamon or chocolate and orange and for Christmas mincemeat. They are just really good.

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faith1101's avatar

Yes that did cross my mind too & while not Jewish- just coffee would never do ‼️

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PoetKen Jones's avatar

Trader Joe’s sells a chocolate babka now like the Seinfeld episode. I bought it even though it’s not on my diet. Quite an odd pastry but tasted yummy

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Bruce Miller's avatar

Go easy on that stuff, fella.

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Dunboy2020's avatar

Thanks Celia.

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AP's avatar

Thank you Celia for the Friday morning chuckles! And thank you everyone else for being the comments section that is worth sitting down to take in each day, or to catch up on when life gets busy. The comments section of that other not-to-be-named Stack has become a brainless cess pool.

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Bruce Miller's avatar

Could you be referring to the UnFree Press????? lol

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faith1101's avatar

You mean they had a brain? I guess Common Sense did but like Elvis, it’s long left the building!

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Joe Horton's avatar

Teacher is asking the class what they’ll do on Christmas eve. Mary, a Catholic, says that she and her family always go to church. It’s a lovely service. Then when they get home, the open a present. Johnny, a Protestant, says that they always have a big dinner, then open two special presents, then go to bed early so they can get up early to see what Santa brought. Little Abe says that they all go to the family store, look at all the empty shelves, sing “What A Friend We Have In Jesus,” and then get in their jet and fly to the Cayman Islands….

*********

And if you haven’t watched Red One yet, do. It has some very funny parts. I think it’s on Prime.

*********

And as for spelling Chanukah, to quote Andrew “Stonewall” Jackson, “it’s a damn poor mind can only think of one way to spell a word.”

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Brian Katz's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Joe Horton's avatar

Like you, I'm MOT, but a priest--Father Bob--who officiated at my late aunt's funeral, told that story. It's an oldie, but goodie.

"Ruth" nee Rosemary, converted (sorta) to marry into the family. Somehow she managed to remain above the mishegas that defined our group and found real joy. So, apparently, did Father Bob.

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Brian Katz's avatar

All in good fun.

Those stories are always priceless.

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Barry Lederman, “normie”'s avatar

Just great. To confuse my neighbors, I string only blue lights on my evergreen Chanukkah bush and turn them on the start of Hanukkah!

Some get the celebration!

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AP's avatar

In Memphis we just say, "Ah another Elvis fan."

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Rainbow Medicine-Walker's avatar

Oh that's clever!

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Bruce Miller's avatar

Home Shalom?? Oh that's good, Celia. Little Kevin in a yarmulke and pais torturing Marv and Harry as they kvetch their way around his house of horrors!!!

And btw we have to figure out a better word than "partner" for the love of our lives. Sig other also sucks and "lover" connotes nothing but sex. Open to suggestions.

What happened with that creep last night. I saw a reference last night but was too sleepy to respond.

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cocteau twin's avatar

i agree with you on finding a better word! what about "sweetheart"? it's old-fashioned but i love that about it.

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JBell's avatar

Funny story ..... when I was dating, I called my boyfriend, My Honey. 6 months later, when we married, my Grandmother addressed the card to Mr. and Mrs. Mahoney !

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cocteau twin's avatar

oh, that's too cute-i love it!!! i once dated a guy and put his picture on my desk at work. it was a new relationship and my boss noticed/asked about the photo and i referred to the new guy as my "beau" - it just slipped out that way. my boss wasn't expecting that, either, but loved my choice of word. it fit at the time because the relationship was new enough that while we were exclusively dating, calling him my "boyfriend" to others felt weird and too soon.

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Celia M Paddock's avatar

Beau is another good word that we have lost.

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Ree T.'s avatar

JBell- your cute story made me literally laugh out loud!

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Celia M Paddock's avatar

Oh, I like that! Much better than partner!

I'm just never sure how to describe a 'boyfriend/fiancé' who is actually female. (One of the many thinks-she's-a-boy who is less 'masculine' than I am!) Fortunately, said sweetheart has not taken any physical steps yet, just using a male name. They are a really sweet couple.

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PoetKen Jones's avatar

When I first returned from LA I used “partner” exclusively. A hard core Texan I’ve known since Junior High said “sounds gay”. It’s a definite hole in the language

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Casey Jones's avatar

I'm with the Texan. Sounds evasive at best.

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Sghoul's avatar

Personally I miss girlfriend/boyfriend. And of course, coming up with your won pet names. Sweetie, dear, sweetheart, babe, etc.

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PoetKen Jones's avatar

Bingo! As a poet I love going pet names. Unfortunately they tend toward the hidden sexual so I won’t share tmi here.

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April's avatar

Love these !!! Thank you Celia!

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SallyWally's avatar

Those are fun, and what a sweet richness for your family to add Hanukkah celebrations too!

As a Catholic who follows the Church calendar, I have to quibble with the “When Christmas is over but it’s only day 5 of Hanukkah” one: commercialism taking over Christmas has left most people woefully unaware that Christmas Day is only THE FIRST DAY OF Christmas!! Yes, JUST “the partridge in a pear tree.” The other 11 days FOLLOW Christmas Day, not precede it…the lead up is Advent, and actually a penitential season, similar to Lent, in preparation for the joyous coming of our Saviour. But, alas, even many Catholics don’t get it, and, since we are converts(who were pretty clueless about the Maccabees as well since those books aren’t in the Protestant Bible), we spent most of our lives believing Christmas Day was the culmination rather than the beginning, so aside from our decorations staying up long after most have taken theirs down, we haven’t done a good job of embracing it. Maybe we need a Jewish family member to show us how it’s done!! May your Christmastide and Hanukkah be full of love and joy!

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Unwoke in Idaho's avatar

Yep. January 6 is the last day of Christmas. I really don’t get people who take their stuff down on Christmas night.

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Bruce Miller's avatar

Or keep it up until June.....

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Michael Karg's avatar

You mean those lights on my house? April, at least.

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PoetKen Jones's avatar

I remember my Dad wrestling with putting up Xmas lights on our house. I’ve avoided it my entire adult life. And I just read this morning that in many cultures Jan 6 is the Three Kings Day, so it does stretch to mid January

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Michael Karg's avatar

I love putting them up, decorating, contest with the lawyer down the street, golfing buddy. I hated taking them down.

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cocteau twin's avatar

we try to stick to a schedule of up immediately after thanksgiving (to give thanksgiving the respect it deserves) and then we take down decorations on new years day. we have a high percentage of snowbirds where we now live so it's not unusual to see christmas trees still up in windows when you drive by houses in april, even may. i figure they just keep their tree up year round as they are only here during the wintertime.

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faith1101's avatar

👍

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DMang's avatar

The loony left won’t be celebrating the last day of Xmas on Jan. 6th. Instead they’ll be pissing and moaning about the 4th anniversary of UnArmedmageddon.

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Celia M Paddock's avatar

We're not Catholic, but I know that January 6th is the Twelfth Day of Christmas, and I don't take my Christmas decorations down until then. (Not that I've been able to get any up yet this year! Such chaos here!)

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Billiamo's avatar

Given the 'quality quantity' you produce here, I'm surprised you're able to do laundry, let alone put up Christmas decorations.

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Brian Katz's avatar

Thanks for the lesson in theology. Always good to learn more. But I have to say, this means to me that there are many Catholics that don’t even know this (11 days follow Christmas) or remain silent about it. Very odd that I am learning this now at age 63. Thanks a have a joyous holiday season.

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Kate Cahill's avatar

Brian- I believe (though I'm no scholar!) that the season end on the 6th, and it marked the arrival of the 3 wise men/"Kings of Orient" to the manger in Bethlehem. When I was a kid I used to hide the wise men figures (and their camel) from our creche scene, and not bring them out until the right date!

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Brian Katz's avatar

Thank you.

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Celia M Paddock's avatar

Oh, that is awesome (hiding the wise men)!

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faith1101's avatar

My kids put them at a distance & moved them closer each night as the right day approached & other traditions to get them through the seemingly endless days after Thanksgiving until Christmas Eve 🎄 & the elaborate Santa “traps” an entire story starting w/ my very young parents & producing a photo of the Easter Bunny’s tail… my mom holding a white fur muff under the dimly lit formal dining room table & my Dad producing it as proof that there really was an Easter Bunny… & from there proof of Santa & from there generations of inventive fun still endures … gosh they were mid twenties —- it seems a forever ago but I guess it is 🎅🙏

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Casey Jones's avatar

Your kids had more energy than I did.

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PoetKen Jones's avatar

Yes Kate I just posted before I saw your note.

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Casey Jones's avatar

When I had the half-lifesize nativity and a lot more energy, I placed the three wise guys a respectful distance until Epiphany aka 3 Kings Day aka 12th Night at which time I moved them into position. A lot that had depth disappeared in the maelstrom of abomination that was Vatican II.

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Mark Adams's avatar

Christmas season is followed by Epiphany.

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Brian Katz's avatar

Lots of funny stuff in there.

Smiles 😁😁.

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Mrs Miller's avatar

Another Die Hard gem! Laughing my kishkas off! Happy Hanukkah and Christmas to all. And in case anyone gets the idea that Jews don't have good holiday songs, roll up the rug and check out erran baron cohen's album:

https://open.spotify.com/album/63HS1rHzEtJhvvxdSTwRgK?si=BDPlG-9lR1udBqjlY2iL7A

Now I'm off to deposit my Hanukkah gelt from uncle Elon.

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Roberta L's avatar

PERFECT!

Thank you.

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Rainbow Medicine-Walker's avatar

Very funny and much appreciated. Will forward to Jewish friends!

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PH's avatar

The Die Hard one: Hahaha Love it!

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Mark Adams's avatar

Your bridge line “enough seriousness—let the memes begin” triggered a memory of the great, comedic polymath Steve Allen, who would say “all seriousness aside” ironically to transition to something serious.

These humorous memes are a welcome antidote to the rampant, hideous antisemitism that’s raised its head all over the place. One thing about Jews is that so many have the ability to laugh at their own stereotypes. The memes capture that sense. Mensch on a bench—I love it. It’s a wonderful life when you call your mother—so true!

Happy Hanukkah to Jews here and everywhere!

This time of year, especially, Christians should also keep in mind that Jesus was a Jew. Mary and Joseph were Jews. The foundation of the Judeo-Christian way of life are the Ten Commandments entrusted to Moses.

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James Nick's avatar

I recently saw a cute post somewhere that said, “Remember, Jesus celebrated Hanukkah.”

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Celia M Paddock's avatar

If you watch The Chosen, you'll notice that in the most recent season, they did celebrate Hanukkah. Not sure how historically accurate the depiction was. But it was a much more recent event for them, and would have had more nationalist overtones then, particularly with the Roman occupation.

I'm curious--does Hanukkah have nationalist overtones as celebrated in Israel today?

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Regine's avatar

I was in Israel during Hanukkah in 1989. The holiday seemed more like an eight-day Thanksgiving; the associated advertising was for filled donuts, potatoes,and cooking oil. Hanukkah was also pretty late that year,and blended into the end-of-decade assessments. The leading song of the decade was Pink Floyd's 'The Wall' ( before Roger Waters was revealed as an anti-semite)

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Brian Katz's avatar

Happy Hanukkah!

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